They will be here in about two days. And, to top it off, I had a dream about his ex coming back into his life. Am I being paranoid?
I don't know. I got an I.M. from my ex sister-in-law the other day, and she started ragging on me for leaving Cali, and deserting my family. My kids are grown. I really do miss my kids and grandkids, but I did my job. I was no longer happy. I was suffering from extreme depression, and just wanted not to wake up in the morning. I am really happy now. I don't look at it as I deserted them, I look at it as saving my own life. I actually look forward to waking up in the morning. Maybe it won't be too bad having the boys back. It will keep him from stressing over them. Like I said in an earlier blog, "He is everything I never knew I wanted". Isn't love grand.

They're coming back, and I am really scared. I really do care about his boys, but they cause trouble for me and Ken. I sometimes think that they are jealous of the relationship Ken and I have. I love him, but I am very afraid of his sons coming back. I really do try do everything I can, to make all of this work, but they don't take me seriously. They think that I am going to break his heart, just like all the others. I am not. I love him. He still doesn't give his all. It feels like he is holding a part of his heart back. He is afraid to love me. I know he does love me, I can see it in the way he looks at me, the way he holds me. Some day, I hope.